We often live by unwritten rules, believing that if something isn’t explicitly offered to us, it’s not meant for us. But what if the key to unlocking new opportunities lies in simply asking?
For a long time, I played by the rules. I thought they were firm, unbendable structures that defined what I could and couldn’t do. But then I realized something—sometimes, all it takes is the boldness to ask. And when you ask, you’ll either get a no, a yes, or a maybe. A no changes nothing, but a yes or a maybe? That can open doors you never imagined.
A Shift in Mindset: When You Dare to Ask
One of my biggest lessons in this came when I applied for a conference that was technically meant for individuals aged 18 to 35. Now, I was slightly outside that age range, but I noticed that the application required an essay about why I wanted to attend. That told me the organizers were looking beyond just numbers—they were looking for interesting people.
Instead of assuming I wouldn’t be accepted, I asked myself, Why not? And so, I applied. A friend of mine saw the same opportunity and immediately dismissed it, saying he was too old. And that’s the difference—so many of us take ourselves out of the running before anyone else does.
The truth is, you don’t always have to meet every requirement perfectly. Sometimes, if you present yourself well, you might be exactly what they didn’t realize they needed.
The Power of Asking for Help
Another example of this happened during a recent trip to Manila. I was visiting the beautiful Manila Cathedral, getting lost in the moment, when I suddenly realized I had lost my group. My phone wasn’t working, and I had no way to reach them.
I could have panicked. But instead, I asked a nearby woman with a stroller if she could call my friend. She did, and within minutes, I was back on track.
That moment reinforced something important: People are often willing to help—you just have to ask. Fear of rejection holds so many of us back, but more often than not, people are open to lending a hand.
Life is Short—Don’t Play It Safe
The biggest push for me to be bolder came in 2016 when my mother passed away. Watching her deteriorate in the ICU, struggling to breathe, made me realize how fragile life is. We don’t get second chances. We don’t get do-overs.
That’s when I made a decision—I would live without regrets. I would ask for what I wanted, take risks, and embrace the discomfort of uncertainty. Because regret is far worse than rejection.
Start Being Bolder
If you’re someone who hesitates to ask for what you want, here are some strategies to help you shift your mindset:
- Start small. Asking for help requires courage, so begin with something simple—a favor from a friend, a request for feedback, or even asking for directions.
- Adopt a “Why Not?” mindset. Instead of ruling yourself out, challenge the limitations you’ve set for yourself.
- Seize opportunities. If you see an opportunity that excites you, go for it. Don’t overthink it. Don’t talk yourself out of it.
- Practice “What If” thinking. What if you get that job? What if you land that dream opportunity? What if your bold move changes your life?
The next time you see an opportunity, don’t assume you’re not qualified. Don’t assume it’s not for you. Dare to ask, take the risk, and see where it leads.
Because the worst that can happen? You hear a no. But the best? It could change your life forever.
Join My Virtual Group Coaching for Women
I am considering starting a small virtual group for women this year. If this message resonates with you, I invite you to take the next step and send me an email (use the Contact form). Just state that you’re interested in the small group and when I have the date and program ready, I will update you.